A nasty ex partner?

This is an anonymous post kindly submitted by one of the parents in our RagHeroes Parent’s Group. All identifying details have been changed. My partner and myself had his eldest daughter aged 15 living with us and she was very happy, went to school and then college, helped a little around the house, kept her own bedroom tidy and was genuinely lovely to have around. However, one night she went to a party and was told to be back by 11.00pm as it was just down the road. When she didn’t return we went to the house and the mother of the party holder told us they had gone to the local pub as they had a *lock-in*! As she was only 15 we were having none of this so went to the pub and knocked on the door. Several knocks later the bar person answered and said it was a private party. My step daughter could be seen with a pint glass in her hand, so I quietly informed her I wanted my step daughter to leave… the barmaid refused.. so I told her her age… she couldn’t get her out quick enough…. We told my step daughter that she couldn’t go out for a week and she screamed take me back to my moms, using lots of foul abusive threats, and so we did. The next day the ex-wife turns up with my step daughter and her younger sister to take all her stuff home…. that was ten years ago……. The point of my long story is this… ex-wives, why do they have to pour poison into...

Birth Story 3

This is an anonymous post kindly submitted by one of the parents in our RagHeroes Parent’s Group. All identifying details have been changed. I woke up on the 23rd April feeling like I had been kicked in the back, although it felt more like a kidney pain than baby related. To be sure I went up to the day unit for a quick check over where they diagnosed me with a serious UTI and sent me home with tablets to go with my anti sickness ones, iron ones and pain killers for sciatica. I was told I was no where near being in labour and would go to my due date of the 13th May but to go back if the UTI got worse. Later that night I decided to order a tens machine, and have an early night. Several trips to the toilet later and still no closer to sleep it was morning and a call to the hospital as it had indeed got worse, or so I thought. I called work to say I wouldn’t be in, and that my maternity leave would have to start. I then headed to hospital, after dropping my then partners kids home. By the time I got to hospital I had realised it wasn’t the UTI getting worse as I had finally started with contractions. Just to keep things as awkward as possible, like my pregnancy had been, I was told I would be induced that teatime if no further forward as there was mecconium in my waters… Hard pregnancy easy labour? Not likely with me. I was induced at 6pm,...

Birth Story 2

This is an anonymous post kindly submitted by one of the parents in our RagHeroes Parent’s Group. All identifying details have been changed. Diary – Wednesday 21/05/14 7 days overdue I was booked in for an induction due to extreme pain on the right side of my bump ( they were worried in case there was a problem with the placenta). Arrived at 2pm and the procedure was explained by a lovely midwife. At 3pm I was examined and was 2-3cm but not quite enough for them to break my waters so a pessary was inserted and I was told I would be monitored for an hour and then allowed to leave the ward and would be re-examined 6 hours later at 9pm. After just 30 mins I started getting regular and uncomfortable contractions. The babies heart rate kept accelerating so they would not take me off the monitor so they could keep an eye on it. At 5pm I asked for paracetamol and a birthing ball to help with the pain. At 6pm the midwife could see I was struggling so decided to take me to delivery so I could have gas and air. This helped loads this time and kept me going through my contractions until I was examined again at 9pm. I was 7cm and during the examination the contractions suddenly became much more painful. I asked for an epidural as didn’t want it to be too late like it had been the first time. The anaesthetist struggled to get the epi in my spine as the contractions were now coming thick and fast and my...

Birth Story 1

This is an anonymous post kindly submitted by one of the parents in our RagHeroes Parent’s Group. All identifying details have been changed. Diary – Monday 26/03/12 I was 13 days overdue and fed up. Due to go into hospital to be induced on the Tuesday morning. 3am I couldn’t sleep so got up and watched The Voice on Sky Plus. Started feeling cramps in my lower stomach and back that felt like dull period pains. I knew straight away it was the start as it was so different to anything I had felt previously. Never got to sleep as I was quite uncomfortable. Early afternoon I had a walk to my friends house and told her I had been having pains on and off all day. They were starting to get quite painful and I couldn’t really speak during the contractions. My friend started panicking that I was going to go into labour at her house and drove me back home to my husband. I then decided I needed to clean the house (again) and as I was hoovering up I felt damp between my legs. Thought it might be my waters but when I checked I was bleeding heavily. Rang the hospital and they told me to go straight in. When I arrived at 6pm I was examined and I was 4-5cm and the contractions seemed to be coming really quick and were very painful. I wasn’t allowed to go in the birthing centre for my water birth as I had planned due to bleeding. I was then left in the examination room whilst day shift staff...

I had 3 premature babies

This is an anonymous post kindly submitted by one of the parents in our RagHeroes Parent’s Group. All identifying details have been changed. Frightened Confused feeling so alone in an Alien world. A world where you feel so helpless, You feel robbed… robbed of your ‘perfect’ pregnancy! The lights, the bleeping, there are tubes and wires everywhere, the same sad scared look on other parents faces as they too have been propelled into this frightening place….. NICU aka Neonatal Intensive Care unit for premature and sick babies! A premature birth is that of a baby born before 37 weeks gestation. There are different levels of pre-maturity with those babies born earlier, especially before 26 weeks generally being at more risk! Did you know in the UK alone 54,000 babies are born prematurely each year with various levels of health issues ranging from things like weight gain and learning to feeding to Bradycardia – which is where babies forget to breath momentarily, maintaining their temperature, jaundice…… to name a few. That said, with technology in this day and age, premature babies can and do get on well given specialist medical assistance. Your baby will likely be placed in a ‘plastic box’ which is called an incubator and acts as an artificial womb until your baby is well enough to be placed into a cot and wow what an achievement that feels. Your baby may also undergo some phototherapy if he/she has jaundice, I liked to call this their sunbathing time. They may also need blood transfusions, ventilating or C-Pap which is a milder option – it is 2 prongs laced...

Aug 2014 RagHeroes Winner is…

Hey everyone We are delighted to announce that the WINNER of our August 2014 Facebook competition is…. ** Alison Fraser ** Well done Alison, please get in touch to claim your prize. Many thanks RagHeroes...

Sep 2014 RagHeroes Winner is…..

Hey everyone We are delighted to announce that the WINNER of our September 2014 Facebook competition is…. ** Barbara Gallgher ** Well done Barbara, please get in touch to claim your prize. Many thanks RagHeroes...

Losing a Grandma – How I Told My 4 Year Old His Gran Was Dying

This is an anonymous post kindly submitted by one of the parents in our RagHeroes Parent’s Group. All identifying details have been changed. No parenting manual can prepare you for some of the hardest situations you could face as a parent. The only time I have really known grief and death was when I was 20 with the loss of my fiance and I found there was no way this could prepare me for a 4 year old’s reaction to losing a relative. My son had always been close to his great gran, my only living grandparent (the rest died when I was young so I couldn’t remember). He would see her several times a week with my dad on the days I had to work early and he loved the trips over to watch the trains from her living room window. At the age of 94, she was still in seemingly ok health. She lived alone in a 2 bed house, baked for the family weekly and lived for our visits. So it came as a massive surprise when my dad went over one morning and found her in pain. On being rushed to hospital she was immediately admitted, placed on oxygen and antibiotic treatment started. Just 4 days later, whilst visiting her the doctor confirmed our worst fears, despite treatment she wasn’t improving and that if she remained the same overnight then they would be starting end of life care. How do you tell a 4 year old that his beloved great gran would not be coming home, that he would never see her again? The best...

I often get asked what it’s like being a working single mum?

This is an anonymous post kindly submitted by one of the parents in our RagHeroes Parent’s Group. All identifying details have been changed. I often get asked what its like being a working single mum, how I feel about working instead of spending time with my boy and there is no easy answer to give. I knew in pregnancy I would only be able to take minimum time off work and even with saved holidays it didn’t make it any easier. With my son just 3 months old I ventured back into the world of work and believe me it was the hardest thing I did. Day after day I would sit at work wondering what milestone he was reaching, what I was missing that day? Luckily, my parents did my childcare for the first 18 months and would bring my son down in my lunch breaks so I would get an hour in the day with him. Putting him into nursery when he reached 18 months old was actually an easier decision for me than it would be for most parents. We had missed out on all the parents groups so he had little interaction with other children and I knew that despite the cost it was something I had to do. It turned out the easiest decision was also the best decision as he totally flourished and the improvements in his development was instantly noticeable. The hardest part in the first 18 months was the group of friends we had made in my first 3 months off work rarely invited us anywhere as they expected me to...

Long Distance Flying with Young Kids!

This is a post kindly submitted by one of the parents in our RagHeroes Parent’s Group. 4 tips to ease the pains of flying long distance with your children I married a Kiwi. After 10 years of living in the UK he had served his time. By now we had two young children, one 2 years and the other 9months old (just past the cut off point for a basinet seat on a flight…grrr). Moving to New Zealand was the right decision for us. My husband’s family still live there and we could have the outdoor life we desired, with two very active little boys and dog (whole other story). A 28 hour flight was looming, I decided to prepare as best I could for what was to come. The flight went beautifully and the children were perfect (I mean even better than they are normally)! This is how I did it: 1. We booked the overnight flight, leaving Heathrow at 9pm. This meant that at 8pm at the gate we could do a semi normal bed-time routine. Jammies, Bottle, Story etcetera. My eldest required his own seat for being over 2, but for my youngest it was un-needed. 2. We had the kid’s covers and pillows as their carry-on luggage. A made up bottle for my youngest, which you will have to taste test through security. Boob juice or formula anyone? Buying a large bottle of water once we were through to the departure lounge. 3. Thinking about our fellow passengers. There is nothing worse than a long flight with a screaming baby in your ear & as...